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The questions Scott Moore SHOULD be asking
Posted By katie allison granju
Over at The House of Flying Monkeys, she’s compiled a list of proposed questions:
All I can say is that Scoobie needs to be very glad that I wasn’t at that Forum this weekend. While I’m sure that every flagwaving Elephant was overjoyed to have ole Scoob defending the basic tenets of the Grand Old Party with his intensive questioning of “concerned citizen Sproles”, I personally thought he and Er Larry both looked like the morons they are. I mean, come on, where an appointee stands on such weighty issues as Abortion and Gun Control is critical to the appointment process, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Obviously Scoobie’s thinking is that a candidate’s Pro-Life and Pro-Gun stance (which is a totally contradictory moral stance but I’m not even going there) is of utmost importance. To serve on the County Commission. Um, yeah. Exactly what do those have to do with zoning? Yeah, nothing, but not to ole Scoob!
Here’s an idea. Because we know the NYTimes is watching and we don’t want to look any more ignorant than we already do, why don’t they let me write the questionnaire? Yeah, I can do it, I’m qualified, and I think there’s much more pressing questions that the appointees need to answer than their personal stance on issues they won’t be legislating.
Here’s just a few, right off the top of my head:
* Do you know John Valliant? Are you aware that he is the human equivalent of a black hole and cannot be seen with the naked eye? Are you able to see through his “Cloak of Invisibility”? Most importantly, are you immune to his Vulcan mind control powers?
* Do you have memory issues? Have you ever found yourself sitting at a job, in a seat with a nameplate, with no memory of either how you got to the seat or how you got the job that goes with that seat?
* Is Ethics more than a spelling word you missed? Do you understand the complicated idea of being an Ethical person? Do you buy into that whole ethics concept or do you feel that the common rule of “YouscratchmybackandI’llscratchyours” is a better way to do government business?
* How many family members do you have working for the city or the county?
* Is Tim Hutchison building your new beachhouse down at Hilton Head? Did he give you a special “Friends and Family” deal? Did you choose him because he was the best or because you have your eye on a permanent job with the county in 2010? Are you aware that Mr. Hutchinson has never been a builder before? That’s a detail that apparently hasn’t bothered too many people to much of a degree since he never had been a Sheriff or even bothered with a degree in Law Enforcement and he ran the county just fine for over ten years.
* Is there any previous position on your resume that you got by knowing somebody, who was a sister to your cousin who knew somebody, who called somebody who your Mamaw went to church with, whose uncle was a cousin to somebody your Daddy used to play football with?
* Do you know that McCartney was not a senator but instead was a Beatle? Do you know that he didn’t preside over a trial? Are you aware of how microphones work? Do you realize that we can hear you and your idiocy, even when you are just talking to hear the lovely dulcet tones of your voice?* Do you vacation with Lumpy at the family hacienda in the Bahamas? Does he let you carry his Piggly Wiggly bags onto the plane? Does the family plane look like the Beverly Hillbillies Truck, only with wings and a propeller?
* Do you consider the Bi-Lo Market on John Sevier to be an adjunct meeting room for the County Commission? Do you feel that it is acceptable to do private legislation back at the meat case, right by the Fatback and Cracklins? Do you think the voters really don’t understand the difficult issues you are charged with legislating and don’t really care where or how or with whom it gets decided as long as it does?
Feb 11th, 2008
